Women 101: Terminology

This was posted in my network (by teresa) and I'd like to repost it. It's perfectly, hilariously TRUE. So guys, read on and be enlightened...For WORLD PEACE...

 

Understanding a Woman when she uses the following phrases:

 

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right

and you need to shut up.

 

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

 

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually
end in "fine".

 

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not a permission. Don't Do It!

 

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you
are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of
nothing.)

 

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

 

7.) Thanks:  A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.

Just say "you're welcome."

 

8.) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying **** YOU!

 

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3.